Finding Clarity and Consistency

Where have Paris and I been for the past four days?  Down in Cochrane, at a Josh Nichol Relational Horsemanship clinic.  I went last year and took my dressage horse, Faraona, because I needed help to understand how to work with Faraona’s huge energy.  I had spent the winter on Youtube, watching different clinicians and searching for one whose ideas about horses, relationship, and energy aligned with how I understand things.  When I came across Josh Nichol, I found my teacher – not having any idea that he was a Canadian and, in fact, lived in Athabasca, Alberta!  Trying to get into one of his clinics was another story, however.  As soon as they were announced for the year, they were full.  I asked to be put on all the wait lists.  Fate played a role when, the same week that I bought Paris and Honey, I got an email telling me that a spot had opened up in his clinic in Cochrane and did I want it?  You bet!  Only 2.5 hours from my home.  I learned so much from Josh in that first clinic and it has enabled me to find the relationship that I needed with Faraona.

This year was Paris’ turn.  I had worked out a lot of issues with her that came up in our first year together.  Saddle fit, bridle fit, teeth issues, jaw issues.  Paris has definite opinions on what she wants or doesn’t want to do.  After ruling out pain and saddle fit issues, I knew I needed Josh’s help to figure out her beautiful mind.  I also knew there were holes in her training because she was ridden by a kid.  We needed to find those holes and fill in the blanks.

Josh says that, because she was ‘trained’ by a kid, there was no consistency or clarity in what was asked of Paris.  I had already sensed that it was Paris’ job to take care of the kid, so she was used to being the boss.  That wasn’t going to work for me!  When it was unclear or perhaps ‘too hard’ for Paris, she had amassed a toolbox of kid-caused evasions, including striking out her front feet, crow hopping with her back legs, taking the bit and running through my hands – all things a kid would probably have laughed off but weren’t going to work for me!

Josh took on the challenge and, in four days, we figured out this little mare.  I knew she had a great mind, but this work showed me how unbelievably talented she really is.  Once she understood what we were asking of her, her true movement showed up.  She is a VERY fancy mover and Josh says she is the best Gypsy Vanner he has ever seen.  (And said he would take her home if he could.)

What did this require of me?  More clarity and consistency.  Go figure.  I had to learn at a deeper level how to use my body and energy to provide this clarity and consistency.  On day 3, he taught me a groundwork exercise that he calls ‘Drive and Draw’ where, with my inside hip, I ask her inside shoulder to ‘stand up’ and with my outside hand, I use my energy to draw her eye and then body forward.  I literally felt the energy in me divide down the center of my body.  My right side was using a pushing energy to ask her shoulder to move over while my left side was inviting her to connect her eye to me and move forward.  I had to connect inside myself in a very deep way in order to connect with her – and I did it!

I also watched other clinic participants struggle to find their own energy and use it effectively with their horses.  Some people needed to ‘dial up’ their energy to claim their own space or to move their horse, others needed to contain their energy and channel it to their horse in a more refined manner.  Josh did his best to explain and model how to find these changes in the students’ bodies, but his expertise is with horses more than people.  I, on the other hand, know that I could work with the human part of the equation to help them find their energy.  Because the energy they use with their horses is the energy they use with humans. That is the equine-facilitated learning that an Eponaquest Instructor teaches.  And I continually challenge myself to learn it at a deeper and deeper level in order to teach others.  Josh says I have a lot of energy and it is too quick.  I am sure that my kids would agree.  But I am becoming more conscious of this, which is the first step to change.

So what were my big take-aways from this clinic?  Clarity and Consistency in my asks and in my energy is what Paris needs to become the amazing horse she can be.  It’s a funny thing, but it seems to me that this is also what children need from their parents and caregivers to become the amazing humans they can be.  And we could all learn this from spending time with a horse and a educated instructor!

Josh rode her on the last day. We heard him giggling as Paris threw all her tricks at him and he worked through them all. I think he had a lot of fun with this little mare!