There are horses that come into your life in plain packaging and it is not until you get to know them that you realize how special they are. Holly is one of those. She came to me at 21 years of age, retiring from a life of teaching kids to ride and having babies. She quickly became my go-to horse for first time clients. Holly had an air of calm and acceptance and, as you spent time with her, you began to feel how big her heart was. I called her ‘pure love’. Not once in the four years I owned her did she ever give me a moment’s concern about how she behaved.
Clients often come to me with overwhelming anxiety that they say is ‘always there’. But after they spent 20 minutes with Holly, I would ask “How’s the anxiety now?” The client would feel into themselves and say, incredulously, “It’s gone!” The realization that anxiety doesn’t always exist in them is the beginning of our work of healing.
I can explain all this by neuroscience – mirror neurons, co-regulation, resonance – but it really is a mystical, spiritual thing to behold. This is what healing really is, and Holly was a master healer.
But, being a pony, grass was her enemy and her feet were always a concern. Laminitis would ultimately seal her fate. This summer, she was done with muzzles and dirt pens. She longed for grass and freedom.
My heart feels broken but I know it is important to feel the grief. As I told Holly’s last client, underneath the grief is an open heart. Holly showed us all how big a heart can be when you feel love. That is the most important lesson I have learned from Holly and all my horses.
Oh, Holly, how will I ever replace you? I will never forget you.
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